Lest there be any doubt, what follows is intended (mostly) as some summer silliness.
7:28 a.m.
Imagine my excitement this morning as I read my Head and Shoulders bottle. Kathy had added it just yesterday to the shower shelf (replacing the empty bottle that I really would have gotten around to replacing myself eventually), but this bottle was different.
Being a simple soul, I usually go with Head and Shoulders’ “Classic Clean,” though once or twice I’ve indulged in the more luxurious “Two in One” (a little rich for me). But this one! This one promised to transform my shampooing experience and—dare I say it—my life. “REFRESHING MENTHOL,” the label proudly shouted before adding, with surprising humility, that it “intensely cools & energizes scalp.” The scales fell from my eyes … or my head. Anyway, I beheld wondrous possibilities.
I began to imagine a life with an intensely cooled and energized scalp. Why fear Atlanta’s steamy summer? My mentholated scalp will see me through (“Mark, why aren’t you perspiring heavily like the rest of us?” they’ll ask. “Smell my hair,” I’ll say). And when discussions get heated, I’ll remain cool-headed. Shoot, there’s a good chance people will even see me differently. “You know, I’ve never thought about it before, but that Pastor Mark, he’s pretty cool.”
And in a world where so much conspires to wear us down—from suffering and injustice, to ugly words hurled across schisms, to lies believed and truth discounted, to deepened divisions and ugliness of a campaign season—I need something to energize me. The answer just might come in a plastic bottle with a fresh scent. Maybe it soaks down THROUGH the scalp, this miraculous ablution, slowly mentholating one’s psyche to tackle the world with healthy hair, clean conscience, and new energy. Not today, Satan! I shampooed!
A while back, I suggested in a sermon that we call ourselves the Subaru Church, because love is what makes a Subaru a Subaru and the church church. Strangely, my idea didn’t catch on. But now I’m seeing a bottle of shampoo and a congregation gathered and lathered in agape and menthol—warm hearts, cool heads, and energized to make disciples and transform the world … one scalp at a time.
I do wonder how long-lasting the menthol effect might be, because I don’t have time for three or four shampoos a day. So, let’s see. I’m going to lather, rinse, and repeat, then go about my daily tasks. I’ll return with a report. I’m excited. Wait here.
3:07 p.m.
I’m canceling my invitation to Patrick Mahomes and Troy Polamalu to lead a summer revival for us.
Alas, a mentholated Methodism is not in our future. (1) So far today, not one person has called me “cool,” extending by yet another day my record-setting “un-cool” streak; (2) sitting here in my office with my balky air conditioning, I’m pretty sure there’s perspiration along my hairline; and (3) right now my scalp is somewhere between “slightly fatigued” and “doing OK,” but definitely not energized, though I admit I really don’t know how an energized scalp feels.
So, we won’t be sending bottles of Head and Shoulders home with the Bible School kids, and I don’t think a partnership with Procter and Gamble is in our future. But as a preacher I’m not one to waste a failure if there’s a point or two to be wrung from it, so here’s what I learned from my experiment with cranial mentholizing.
Apparently, there are no shortcuts, but there IS a proven prescription for cool heads and energized spirits. That’s why we gather on Sundays and other times to experience, explore, and share God’s grace. We seek to attune our spirits to Christ through prayer, Communion, worship, singing, and service. There’s not much you can do about the telltale flakes on my shoulders, but you can help me shoulder my burdens, and I yours. We pray for each other, build each other up in love, and walk together through our days. By God’s grace, we are cool-headed but with hearts strangely warmed. We go to bring God’s salvation and peace to the world, then return to our holy house, where we gather, cleanse our hearts, and repeat.
Oh, there will still be heated moments, and there’s ugliness aplenty all around, but, in Christ, we can rise head and shoulders* above the surly crowd to show the world a higher way of love and grace for all.
In Christ’s love,
Mark
*one last attempt to win a sponsorship